Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Bringing Small Comforts - Warrior Princess

When my friend and I were talking about how to comfort a woman who was faced with cancer, she reminded me of a customer request to title their comfort gift "to our Warrior Princess". We both thought this was the most lovely title to bestow on anyone struggling through the challenging fight we are talking about today in this series on Bringing Small Comforts. At many points during cancer patients fight with many things, the pain, the meds, the treatments, the after effects, the surgeries, the physical changes,the doctors, the why-me question and what's happening to their families and the household . After any and all of this any woman is going to feel like a Warrior and likely hasn't felt like a Princess since she heard the word cancer. Today's idea of organizing a Warrior princess party is simply to remind her that you admire her Warrior strength, will be her loyal army when needed, and through all this she is still the Princess you know and love. A small group of her closest friends, done simply, and on her schedule. A Warrior Princess party may sound frivolous, but I think bringing in the troops so to speak and surrounding her in frivolous fun and love can only make your princess have some really good giggles. And feel your love.


I am going to assume when writing about this delicate subject that you know your friend best. This subject has generated a great deal of response so I know it is one that is close to your heart or that you recognize it will be at some time in the future. This series Bringing Small Comforts will be covering alot of topic and ideas, I have over 12 series already so please understand every idea is not for everyone or every situation. Some handle their cancer very privately, some are very open. But I do know this, you really can't make a mistake when you set out to bring comfort in any form.


Timing is everything in organizing a Warrior Princess party. In order to do so, you have to have a very close friend or family member to alert you to best timing during an unpredicable schedule of good and bad days. A partner or daughter to call you and say "I think she could really use some company and cheering up". Some would need it at the very beginning, some during the treatments, others when they complete the final treatment. So the beauty of this Warrior Princess party is you really only have to have a few things ready beforehand (the tiara and the pearls), the ice cream and cake at the last minute. Keep it low-key, the group small, like a few friends just popping in for a short visit, then really do keep it short (unless she is having so much fun she begs you to stay), then come in with all the fun and frivolous ways to make her feel like the princess you know her to be.

I have shown several things that I think make for a Warrior Princess party. You may add or embellish, but I urge you to keep it simple and heartfelt. A fun and delicious cake, multiple flavours of ice cream, chocolate sprinkles and sauce, bananas and whipped cream, chopped nuts (I think this just became a Banana Split party-which would work too) . This is not the time for anyone to say they are dieting. You must find a sparkly tiara and wand for her to wear while she is surrounded by her royal subjects (fun ones you find at the dollar store), and my last suggestion, something I would want to glamorize any bed confinement. A gorgeous and long set of fun pearls with an attached tag reading "If Carrie Bradshaw can wear pearls to bed, our princess should too!". When it's time for her to be tucked in for the night, leave her a lovely stack of pretty princess-theme cards with individual messages telling her why she is your Warrior Princess. Tie each envelope in pretty ribbon and a small bow. Considerately leave them on your way out so she can enjoy them at her leisure over the next few days.

On a practical note, this isn't the time to walk in looking for dishes and glasses at a household trying to stay together, so box up your own, a bunch of votive candles, some beautiful china, your best silver, flowers if you like, sparkly crystal.....make that champagne flutes........I almost forgot the pink bubbly. You must bring some champagne even if she can only enjoy a few sips. It will help to loosen up the rest of you as well. If your get-together it is a bedroom setting because she is most comfortable there then bring along a portable card table and a pretty tablecloth. One more thing, bring a camera and then send her the photos in a small album. I know she will be smiling in all of them.




Top photo from unkown source/2nd photo from Kate French ~ Sarah Kaye/3rd photo by Hammick ~ Sarah Kaye/4th photo from unknown source/ Bottom photo by Tim Evans Cook ~ Sarah Kaye

20 comments:

  1. These are such wonderful ideas! They would also be lovely for anyone recovering from any surgery!

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  2. Sande,
    This is absolutely brilliant! I LOVE it. What an incredible gift it would be to any woman dealing with illness or loss. Thank you!

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  3. I hope and believe that these ideas will bring comfort to someone out there. Kindness to one in times of trouble is the very essence of graciousness I think. What a kind and gracious lady you are to think of others and give definite ideas that we can implement! No matter what the topic, you always put a little loveliness in our day. Best, Stephanie

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  4. I would want you to show up if I were the one going through this. This idea is brilliant.

    Sue

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  5. A post everyone must save. You are simply splendid, Sande. Big XXOOXX's from Texas, Marsha

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  6. Sande,
    I am recovering after losing my lower eyelid to cancer and I have no idea how I will look when my eye is unsewn. I have spent a month looking at the world through one eye, but I feel like it is more beautiful than ever. My birthday is Feb. 27 and I would absolutely LOVE a party like you described. Can't wait to show your blog to someone....

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  7. I must say that this is one of the loveliest things I have ever heard, it has brought tears to my eyes.
    Great post and even greater idea!

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  8. Dear Sande~
    I adore a warrior party for any princess that is going through anything that may take away from her beautiful energy and smile and feeling whole and loved. Your ideas for gifts to make her feel like a special princess are perfect. They would all make her feel LOVED and maybe feeling like a princess gradutating to Queen! Like you, I think you are the goddess gratuated to Queen! You are the BEST Sande~ I love what you do for women and how you make a special party out of everything, even in a box!
    XO
    Janet

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  9. Oh my word, Stephanie has said it perfectly! Sandi, you are the epitome of kindness and grace. These ideas are amazing and so thoughtful...not to mention gorgeous :)

    xoxo

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  10. Dear Sande:

    Your small comfort series brought tears to my eyes. My old boss (a male) Federal Expressed me a vintage rhinestone tiara along with other sweet and wonderful goodies right to the hospital which was out of state.

    Apparently, I had offered encouragement to him at some point or another and to keep his chin up.

    There was a lovely note that contained a few quips to the effect of "You shall have a successful reign, be confident, and remember chin up or the crown will fall off"

    A year later I wore the tiara as part of a Halloween costume since it coincided with a health celebration. A photo of the night sits on my dresser. To this day; the tiara is one of my most prized possessions as it represents such thoughtfulness at a time of such great unknowns.

    Thank you.

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  11. I so love this series and your ideas are just great, dear Sande! the term "warrior princess" couldn't be better chosen. I love your sense of detail too, so thoughtful and beautiful...
    thank you !!

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  12. Sande, Your incredible attention to detail--whether it is presenting the most gorgeous gift, or setting up the Warrior Princess party with tiara,pearls,personal messages tied with ribbon is evident in every post you write! Such wonderful suggestions and ideas. It makes me stop and think--and thank you.

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  13. these are all such lovley and thoughtful ideas, I really appreciate the time and effort you are spending on this series, I am sure it will help so many people. I love the fact that it makes us all think of ways to be thoughtful that be beyond our own thinking , You do an amazing job on your blog,I love coming here,it makes me feel special. Kathysue

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  14. Sande,
    Your series here is incredible, the thinking, the details, the thoughtfulness. I love all of your suggestions, and will bookmark them. Unfortunately those that I know at the moment are far away....perhaps you will be touching on far off friends, a way to connect and show that you love and support them?
    Nathalie

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  15. How wonderful so full of lovely ides and suggestions.
    Those who are struggling and sick need lots of pampering and encouragement:)

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  16. When I had cancer 16 years ago, I had an 8 month old baby to care for. I would Thank God for the love of my husband, family and friends, which made it so much more bearable to go through... Even a little pizza party with cupcakes would make me cry tears of joy and gratitude that I wasn't alone. This is such a wonderful post it is bringing tears to my eyes!!
    PS, and happy Birthday to you, your list was wonderful.
    xoxo

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  17. Oh I just love your ideas and this post Sande, so touching and beautiful.
    xoxo

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  18. Oh my gosh! Your "warrior princess" post really struck a cord with me! Just yesterday I wrote a letter to my niece about Queen Maeve of Ben Bulben, Strandhill, County Sligo, Ireland and how she herself was a warrior princess! I must post about her (well, all of my warrior princesses healthy and ill) soon. And since you brought it up, I might have to do a party like this for my Mom. She lives here with us and has terminal cancer. Thank you for the inspiration.

    Hugs,
    Sheila

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  19. This is the loveliest of ideas of which I'm going to file away in my memory bank for when just such an occasion arrises. I'm so enjoying exploring your blog. So happy I've found you!

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Your comments are such a lovely addition to my day. Thank you.